Stay With Me
by Cofkett
Summary: "No matter how determined I am, one day... you're going to..." Her voice cracked."I'd rather it be in a warm bed, when you're old and grey, in your sleep, than from a chemical weapon I couldn't find the antidote for or a bullet I couldn't push you out the way of in time." Spoilers for Dreamworld, though if you've seen Valkyrie it doesn't really give too much away. Not a sequel.


The sun was setting. Beckett drove, racing against it, racing against time, as Castle sat in the passenger seat, moments from passing out.

"Castle, hold on, ok?" she said. "Just hold on a little longer."

"Kate - " Castle said, barely audible.

"Come on, Castle, I'm not losing you; not like this," Beckett said. "You're doing so well. Keep your eyes open and think about our future, our life together. Think about Alexis. Think about... meeting Shatner. All the things you're going to do in your life. Come on. I need you to just stay with me. We're almost there."

Castle muttered something incoherently.

"Shh, just keep your eyes open," Beckett said, her tone insistent. "Open, Castle."

Castle's head slumped. Beckett's attention switched intermittently between him and the road. She took one hand off the wheel to cup his chin.

"We're going to make it, ok?" she soothed. "Stay with, me, please, Rick. Stay with me."

Castle's vision blurred and everything faded away.

* * *

When he faded back in, he was disoriented. He was slow to wake up, the sounds of heart monitors and doctors being paged coming to his attention as he rubbed his eyes; the room was so white, and the lights were blinding. He was in a bed wearing a hospital gown and Beckett was sitting by his side, holding his hand. She straightened and smiled.

"Hey. You're awake," she said.

"Kate?"

Beckett nodded.

"Am I..." He blinked. "...Ok?"

Sighing deeply, she kissed his hand.  
"Yes," she whispered. "you're perfect. We got the antidote into your system just in time. You _are _going to feel some residual effects of the toxin - dizziness, lethargy, vomiting - but it's gone, Castle. You're ok."

"Whoa, whoa, can we go back to the vomiting thing? I don't want to do that."

"It's a small price to pay for having you here," Beckett said.

"So... I'm not dying?"

"Not quite yet," Beckett said. "You've got a very long and obnoxious life still ahead of you. I made sure of that."

"I'm sorry I missed that," Castle said.

"Yeah, it really is too bad you were unconscious; because I was awesome," Beckett said.

"Of that, I have no doubt," Castle said. He smiled.

She kissed him on the forehead.  
"You know, you really scared me," she whispered. "For a moment there, I thought I'd lost you."

"For a moment, so did I," Castle said. "I woke up; saw the bright white light and thought I was in heaven."

"I hope the land of the living isn't too much of a disappointment for you, Castle," Beckett said.

"Why would it be? You're here."

Beckett considered teasing him for saying something so incredibly cheesy, but after all he'd been through that day she decided to let it slide, and instead stroked his hair.  
"Where else would I be?"

Castle ran his fingers up and down her arm.  
"Thank you for saving me."

"I'd say 'always' - and of course, I'd mean it, Castle; I will always do whatever is in my power to keep you with me as long as possible..."

"But...?"

"I don't want to have to save you for the rest of our lives - just like I'm sure you don't want to have to do the same for me," Beckett said. "I'm not Wonder Woman, Castle."

"Could have fooled me," Castle said.

"No matter how determined I am, one day... you're going to..." Her voice cracked.

Castle caressed her cheek.

"I'd rather it be much, much later in a warm bed, when you're old and grey, in your sleep, than from a chemical weapon I couldn't find the antidote for or a bullet I couldn't push you out the way of in time... I'm ready to be able to breathe easy knowing you're not putting yourself in these life or death situations any more. That's one thing I don't miss about working together. But at least I could be there to protect you when we were working together. I can't do that anymore."

"You were there _this_ time," Castle said.

"This time we were lucky," Beckett said. "But what about the next time a baffling mystery pops up on the news? Or something doesn't quite add up about an old murder you're researching?"

"Kate, it was never an issue before I started shadowing you - " Castle said.

"But it's different now," Beckett said. "And it's my fault. I let you get too comfortable. I loved working with you so much I dropped a lot of boundaries I should have kept in place and I let it go on far too long. And when I did end it, it was so abrupt. You didn't get a chance to wean yourself off of it."

"Kate, I'm not a baby piglet," Castle said.

Beckett smirked.  
"Could have fooled me."

Castle almost laughed, but after considering her words, his smile faded.  
"Kate, I don't know what you want me to do."

"I want you to go back to the precinct to shadow Ryan and Espo," Beckett said.

There was a pause.  
"Oh. I wasn't expecting that."

"It would just be for a little while, until you're ready to walk away," Beckett said.

"What if I'm never ready to walk away?"

"You will be," Beckett said. "I don't have faith in many things, Castle, but  
I have faith in you. I know I can trust the boys to have your back. They're your friends, they love you and they know how to deal with you."

"What about Gates?"

"I already spoke to her and she's onboard," Beckett said.

"Really?

"Yeah, I think she misses you - well at least, the good publicity and morale you bring to the precinct. Obviously, Castle, it's your decision but please at least think about it; for me."

"For you, Kate, I'll more than think about it. I'll do it."

"Thank you," Beckett said.

"Now, I have no problem with saying always to that," Castle said.

Beckett smiled.

"Heads up; your mother and daughter are going to call you tomorrow once you've had enough rest."

"They know...?"

"Well, that phone call you made freaked them out and Alexis called back right as you were being

taken to hospital," Beckett said "They know what happened, they know you're ok, and they're going

to see you when you go back to New York in a few days."

"Few days?"

"Uh, yeah, you're not well enough to fly right now and under the circumstances I've been given a few days off so I can take care of you."

"That sounds nice," Castle said.

"Mm-hm," Beckett said, climbing into bed with him. "I think you could use a few days of this." She snuggled up to his warm body and sighed in contentment.

"I think you could, too," Castle said.

"Mm," Beckett said.

For a moment they just lay their together.

"Kate?" Castle said, breaking the silence.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

"Shh, it's over now, Castle," Beckett said. "I'll never ask you to stop being you; I love you. All I ask is that you be yourself in a way that is legal and safe; can you do that?"

Castle nodded.

"Good," Beckett said. "Because losing the love of my life at this point would be really inconvenient."


End file.
